The Obama Monologues

January 22, 2015 |

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Like a medicine man selling his annual snake-oil to the American people, Obama used the SOTUS and the help of his Marxist shills to once again sell his fraudulent goods. Just like any good play, the foundation was laid, the approach carefully prepared, the scheme exposed, the pay-offs made, the dénouement or crisis declared, and the corroboration set in motion.

Obama’s dramatic monologue on Tuesday night to his audience of dulcet Democrats reached a frenzied climax when he revealed his dénouement for the year ahead, that climate change is America’s greatest threat.

I was very relieved to learn that Mother Earth’s body heat is my biggest threat. Now I can stop polishing my gun and get back to those slow breathing Yoga exercises that will help reduce the carbon emissions that I am producing. Not only will I be saving the world, I will be getting physically fit, and then maybe Michelle Obama will stop spending my taxes on expensive choreographed “Sproutz” dance numbers that feature gays dressed up to look like broccoli.

When Je Suis John Fonda Kerry summed up the climate change threat, he referred to those of us who do not buy the climate claims as “members of the Flat Earth Society” who are “risking nothing less than the future of the entire planet” by resisting implementation of the administration’s policies. He too believes that “Climate change is directly related to the potential of greater conflict and greater instability.” “I’m telling you that there are people in parts of the world in Africa today, they fight each other over water.”

Such a naive statesman, that Kerry…even I know that you do not fight over water when you do not have a head. Those piles of bodies murdered by the Boko Haram jihadist’s are just dying to have their heads re-attached so they can fight over a gulp of water.

I can only imagine how our Commander-in-chief plans to rescue us from the threat of being too hot. Will the Pentagon start handing out free G-strings to keep us all safe and cool? If so, think of the gruesome ‘nuclear’ fallout from that! Walmart will become so R-rated that holy water will have to be offered at each entrance, Michelle will be exposing us all to who knows what…certainly some kind of unimaginable overflow coming out of her G-string, and Harry Reid will be sporting a government sponsored G-string in place of an eye patch, all the better to see us with. Oh, the horrors of climate change!

As the Obama Monologues play out, members of the Flat Earth Society should be thankful and relieved that our government has got our back and has made the calamitous climate threat our number one priority. Whew. After all, no American wants to hear the Islamist terrorists who have set up camp in America shout “Allah Abracadabra” “I heat up, I can’t cool down” while chasing us with a Machete.

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Author of children's classics; Cynthiajquinn.com

Comments (8)

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  1. Eileen says:

    Loved this! Also, if climate change (and there always has been and will always be change) is such a threat, why doesn’t anyone talk about an obvious solution to keeping the air cleaner: Plant more trees. But, of course, why do something simple and common-sense when you can instead regulate, regulate, regulate . . . .

  2. Carolina says:

    Wonderfully filled with truth and humor. Well done Cynthia, as usual.

  3. Carmen says:

    Hilariously true! One of your bests!! You keep spoiling me with a much needed laughter through these twisted moments of this insane administration.

    Thank you Cynthia for your letters. This “Flat Earth Society” needs humor. May the “Flatulence Earth Elites” keep up the ‘Daisy the Cow’ persecution, and give us time to rest from further insanity from them, and pray that God has those CO2 covered.GBY

  4. sue says:

    thank you Cynthia. for one, the ” prop” seated next to Michelle, was a democrat , ,not someone who just wrote to him in March.. and as for the global climate, they’ll all be flying to the conference in their private jets. I can’t say much more b/c I didn’t watch it.
    global climate= weather. only God controls that.

  5. Cha says:

    Could not agree more with this. It is such a shame that POTUS actually thought he could fly by all the real issues the PEOPLE of this #GREATNATION face on a daily basis,on a #magiccarpetride of global warming ads and arrogant poses. He has to be one of the most #Narcissistic F^^#s I think I have ever watched on TV. I had a bet that an assasination would occur within 6 months of his election, and I lost. But for the life of me I cannot see what has kept him alive!

    Anyway… #GREATARTICLE Well, done, I will be reading more hopefully!

  6. Linda says:

    OH LADIES I AM YELLING AT THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN! I AM LITERALLY SHAKING FROM READING THIS AWESOME BLOG! GOD N JESUS CHRIST SHOWED ME THE WAY TO YOU, THIS WAS NOT BY CHANCE I MET CYNTHIA ON TWIT! IT WAS DEVINE INTERVETION

  7. Jared says:

    Hi Cynthia,
    Great article ‘The Obama Monologues’ – arrived via your Tweet to @ResistGlobalism.

    If would be thrilled to crosspost your article at RebootingLiberty.com linking to your blog and clearly stating you as the author at the top of the post.

    If you are interested, let me know. If not, thank you for sharing your work and keep up the good fight. If only more Patriots would speak out like we are.

    In Liberty,
    Jared Day

  8. Rose says:

    Another good article, Cynthia, you are churning them out like you are on a mission! This was a funny take on a “funny” president, calling our greatest threat to the world climate change, not the beheading, murdering, raping, and general terror of our enemies….what a laugh…haha….what an absolute travesty to have voted this president in twice! God save this beautiful country!